The Hidden Block in our Goals

Trevor HendyThoughts1 Comment

Settle back, grab a cup of tea and relax as I have another cool, slightly long blog for you today.

I have had a remarkable couple of days. Whilst I am always working with people one on one, I have recently done a lot more corporate and group work. It is wonderful and rewarding but the icing on the cake is always the beautiful moment when the one person you are working with finally sees, feels and releases something that has been holding them back for a long time. It puts the meaning into everything.

I have had a couple of beautiful one on one opportunities in the last couple of days and as always a beautiful flavour shone through, one that I felt compelled to share with you.

I was given a glimpse right back into a pattern that most of us experience but don’t understand or even notice. I got to see the pain that we unknowingly create when we are going for our goals or chasing our latest dreams or endeavours. Whilst there is a wonder in chasing these things, for most of us there is a pain that piggy backs with us during these pursuits. I hope I can break this down for you in the next few minutes to help you understand something that is truly powerful and wonderful to release in yourself or anyone close to you.

Think of something that you are passionately chasing right now. It could be to pay off your mortgage, put that money aside for your holiday. It could be to win the next event, get the next promotion, land the next big deal. It could be that one person who has caught your eye or your heart and you are trying to take the next step, sweep them up or get them to notice you. It could be the abs that you are wanting to reveal or the chunky thighs that you are wanting to tone up. It could be just feeling happy. It could be anything. Just think of something and let yourself feel where it is coming from.

In one wonderful form of “creation or manifestation school”, we have learnt to focus on what we are heading towards, to hold only that feeling inside of ourselves, to put pictures on the wall, write out our goals etc. This undoubtedly works. Today, however we are looking at another aspect.

The following is a fairly simplistic “way” of looking at this subject but rest assured most great answers are simplistic.

You see, there are two parts to this above story, one is the vibration or experience of what you are wanting to go towards or create, the other is the vibration or experience you are unconsciously trying to get away from and in most cases are resisting.

Let’s break it into Yin and Yang for a moment, you know that old eastern circle with the harmonious and symbiotic relationship of two halves that make up the whole.

Yang is the “male” energy, Yin is the female. Each human, man or woman, has the opportunity to balance these two parts and become whole. The male, yang energy is the doing energy, straight lines, clear vision, truth. The female, Yin energy is caring, all inclusive, embracing, warm, circular like a hug and most importantly healing and loving. Together they create insight, power, peace, care, passion, stillness, clarity, freedom, enthusiasm, inspiration, hope, flexibility and many other “complete” feelings.

You see, as a creator or manifestor you are learning to create what you want, that is Yang or Male, this is where you move forward and create new things. As a lover and a peaceful presence, which is Yin or female energy, you are learning to embrace, heal and release what is already present. This is what is referred to as the “road less travelled”. After all, why would I want to love what is already here (which I don’t like or approve of) when I can override it and change it. “Bugger that”, we think.

Taking that step would involve taking a step from selfishness to selflessness or conditional to unconditional. No wonder they call that the road less travelled. Our conditioned problematic mind says “No wonder not that many have travelled it, sounds boring, dangerous and something to be avoided at all costs, what about me”.

It takes an active decision to be your best, whole self.

Ouch, “you can have that”, says the old self-serving ego energy inside of us.

Our old resistant self also tells us, based on past experience, that “we will only get more pain and heartache if we try and care for others”. “It’s too much hard work, I’ve tried that but nobody wants to change”. Of course that is only our mind trying to convince us to run the other way when truly the real opportunity is to leave behind that part of you (the old small you, ego) that is apparently “only interested in you”, that is self serving and not wanting to let go. This part is trying to get away from the pain but it is unwittingly making sure it follows you everywhere.

You see that old unconscious part of us is also the part that creates your not yet reached, problematic future. The opportunity is to enjoy the peace of now, this moment, with full capability to create anything you truly want, with no need to get away from anything.

Now we have got to the part that I really wanted to write about. It is not only what you are going towards and focusing on, that is creating your future experience, happiness, peace or lack off. It is also what you are trying to get away from, what you are avoiding, hating, resisting from your past and particularly your present experience. It is the pain that you are trying to escape that is having the biggest influence on your next experience. Not because it is painful and trying to wipe you out but because you are trying to run from it and get away from it.

You are actually losing your power and in the process, continuing to believe in a diminished version of yourself, every time you turn and run away from something scary or painful. That same something could just as easily be stared down, accepted, embraced or dare I say it, even loved and understood. That is your capability, that is what you are truly able to do if you just stop believing that you are small and your experiences are big.

That is where your greatest freedom lies, to no longer have to run away from anything, to pause, turn around and face it with an open heart and an open mind. Not because you have to but because you can. The opportunity is to face the fear of it and no longer be run by the piece of mind that is telling you “we will be nothing if we don’t’ get away from this situation.” It is not true, you are already beautiful, amazing and fabulous, you only have to pause and chase your reactive mind out of your day to day, moment to moment, decision making and experience. You are the power, your experience is just that, your experience. Don’t let your experiences make your mind up for you. Make up your own mind and use only your full self as a reference point.

None of what is scaring you is actually true. None of what is hurting you is actually valid at the level of who you really are. As long as you run from something, you drag it along with you, in the wake of your forward movement. Just like when you are standing in waste deep water and a bug is swimming near you, as you back away from it, it gets dragged in the little etty, that your body and the movement creates. You suck along something by desperately not wanting it in your life. You are focusing on it by trying to get away from it. You are giving it power and making yourself out to be powerless. This is bad when others do it to you but is worse when you do it to yourself.

Instead of running, wading or swimming away, let the symbolic bug touch you, let the pain run through you, let the loneliness come up and out of you, let the anger rise up and be released, let your powerless-ness come up and out, let it all be experienced and washed away in your willingness to be your full self. Just be present and notice it. Feel it, release it, avoid telling a story about it or listening to the story that your mind tells you about it. Let the thoughts go, let the pain go.

A little pain experienced can be a lot of pain avoided.

That is, after all, what is happening in our sugary society. It could be sugar, coffee, drugs, alcohol, looks, likes, sex, wins, clothes, arguments, awards, boobs, abs or anything else we are chasing for some sugary relief. We can have all of these things but make no mistake in most cases, we are chasing all of theses things as a quick fix to feel better. Feel better than what? That is the missing piece.

We always see what we are going for but we don’t often slow down to realize how powerless we are making ourselves out to be when we are trying so damned hard to get away from a feeling. It could even be the feeling of being powerless in a relationship, family, school, social or work situation yet when we run away from it instead of turning, accepting it or consciously sinking into it and letting it wash over and away from us, we are ultimately the ones that are pulling the trigger, shooting ourselves in the foot and keeping ourselves in that powerless situation.

You don’t need these things in life to be free. Stop chasing them, starting finding the power in who you are and what life truly is, amazing and waiting to be discovered and enjoyed. Let people go up and down, in and out. Let things wash by you, leave you or turn up for you. This moment, without all of the psychological mind rubbish, (judgments, limitations, beliefs, attachments, justifications, denials and blames), is actually a beautiful canvas that can be enjoyed for what it is and created anew and fresh. Let the anger go, let the hurt go, let the past go, make peace with it all.

You can have all of the sugary things and they are a joy to play with but if you be your full self in this moment or any moment, you will no longer “need” them to survive or to feel a little better about yourself. You, the full, powerful and simple you, are the solution that you really need. Be happy now. Be you now. Be here now. The rest are just decisions and fun and not only can you be the yang creator, you can be the yin lover of the moment and everyone and everything in it. Even your situations will magically improve when you let go of running away from something and the need to go towards something.

March majestically towards what you want but never lose what is available to your right now, full peace, full knowing and the full experience of who you are. It is hidden just behind the illusion of things. It is most easily found inside of you but can be noticed first in others. Either way, there will be joy when you spot it or feel it.

Don’t run away from anything, slow down, take a breath, turn around and face the feelings that you have been giving your power to. You won’t regret it. You won’t always completely dissolve it straight away but you will take away it’s unconscious power over you. You will break it down and it will lose power over you. Just keep facing it, feeling it and releasing it. Eventually you will have the experience of being your full self and will not be fooled by the experience of being trapped and limited.

The answers lie right here, right now.

You always were your full self and you always will be, you were just fooled into thinking that you had to fight, compete and struggle to be the real you. That is the illusion and that untruth and the horrible feeling that goes with it, is ultimately what we have all been unknowingly running away from.

This very writing could seem like a load of rubbish or a doorway into letting something go, it is up to you.

Turn and face your fear and you won’t find anything terrible, you will find you and you will be surprised, enlightened, inspired, humbled and relieved.

Remember, bring it into now and never underestimate the power of who you are.



One Comment on “The Hidden Block in our Goals”

  1. Hello
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