I have wanted to write about this for a while but funnily enough I had to break a few patterns before I could. Firstly, why I want to write about this. It’s simple, if we weren’t living true to our old patterns, our old stuck points, we would be experiencing a lot more freedom, a lot more clarity and a lot more ability to consciously decide our own future.
You see, what I am referring to when I say “patterns”, is anything that we are doing in our life that is on automatic, a pattern of behaviour or mindset or action that follows a predictable path, most of the time unconsciously and most of the time as part of a negative reaction towards something we are feeling or that is happening, even just life. Mostly it is the unconscious part that is the problem. Basically, in most situations that we are not truly winning in life, if you scratch just below the surface, you will see that there is an unconscious reaction in the form of a patterned behaviour etc.
Let me give you an example. A husband and/or wife works very hard either around the home, at work, in business, even in the gym. They feel as though they are really putting it all on the line and maybe even breaking a few patterns. They are really putting their best foot forward. Then their partner comes into the picture, perhaps at the end of the day and the first thing they comment on is something peripheral that they haven’t done perfectly or forgotten or neglected to do. “you overcooked the roast”.
Immediately, there is that uncomfortable moment when your heart breaks a little and a deep and often un-recognized feeling of not being understood or acknowledged sets in and sinks down to sit deep in your psyche.
At this point the unconscious thoughts of the reactive mind start having a field day. “What’s the use of doing that if he doesn’t notice” “you think I’m lazy, I’ll show you lazy” “well then, If you’re going to be like that, I’ll keep doing it but I won’t include you in it”. There is no limit to the amount of thoughts that can arise (in an underground manner) when we feel dismissed, not acknowledged, not understood, not loved etc.
Here is the clincher, whilst those thoughts are flashing by, in almost all cases, whatever we do next, is part of a negative, unconscious pattern. You see, we may, work harder (and still get the same and increasingly not understood results), go get drunk (do something we regret or just pretend we really like to behave that way), fight and scream with our partner (then vow never to love them again).
That is a collection of some of the mildly heavy things we do but whether our patterns are heavier, like violence, self sabotage, drugs etc or way milder patterns, like eating the same rubbish or just driving the same way to work every single day, the fact remains you don’t have to have a masters in psychology to work your way through life’s issues and arrive at a healthier place, although sometimes it feels that way.
One quick and easy way to get closer to the life of your dreams is just to become good at recognizing and breaking your un-conscious patterns. The ego inside of you is very invested in your patterns, so you may have an internal fight and may feel you are losing if you break that pattern of rebuking your partner, but if it’s a pattern, break it anyway and see what happens. Only the ego will die and the subtle feeling of peace, excitement or lightness, that arises after you do break a pattern, is your first hint to what life should really feel like.
Give it a try, decide for one day to break some patterns and see what happens. Stop gossiping, stop worrying, stop running and hiding, stop pointing out others faults, stop believing others harsh words towards you. So, break a few patterns, you won’t regret it.
In fact if you just keep breaking patterns, eventually your best life will shine through.
Remember, bring it into now and never underestimate the power of who you are.
Doing things differently can sometimes seem like a leap of faith, you don’t know where you are going to end up but at the very least it’s good to feel alive again….