Have you ever tried to help a young child or tried to comfort them and they turn their back or shrug their shoulder. You know when you put your hand on their shoulder and they shrug it off. Looking at them, it can look anywhere between “the need to be independent” or “bugger off, I don’t need your help” perhaps with a tinge (or a lot) of resentment and “get away from me” vibe.
You may have seen it in someone else’s child or even an adult friend or your own child. You may even remember that feeling of doing it to someone else. That is the feeling that I want to talk about, the feeling that is deep inside of us that says “bugger off, I can do it on my own” OR “I want to do it on my own” OR “I don’t need you so go away” OR many other combinations. This is a feeling that is at the base of a lot of our ongoing challenges and dis-ease. This is a very interesting feeling to explore.
I think you will find if you scratch a little deeper that almost everyone has that feeling somewhere inside of them. The feeling of , “leave me alone”. Funnily enough, whilst we have that feeling buried inside of us, we also crave to be close to people and crave to be loved, understood and helped. For a lot of us who have learnt in the school of hard knocks, to be resilient, we may not even recognize that we want to be understood, loved and helped. That may almost seem like the last thing we want or need, “that is only for weak people.”
Well of course, that is not true, it is actually quite the opposite. There is a real strength in letting people into your world, after all that is the truth of our connection, at a quantum or soul level we share everything. Whilst it is wonderful and a big part of our learning in life’s Bootcamp for the Soul, being completely self-reliant is not the whole picture. There is a certain joy and sweetness in life that only comes to us through the willingness to be vulnerable, to be helped, to be part of a “group” something. Once again, that points to the truth of the depth of our connection. It could be a relationship or a team or even just your connection with all of life but make no mistake we are not here to exclusively fly solo.
It is the bigger questions, answers, challenges, lessons etc that require us to be part of a “whole”, part of THE whole. Once again, we are of course, at a spiritual, quantum or base level, part of the whole, that is who we are.
So, what is this feeling of “get away from me” that sits deep inside a lot of our experience? Well, put simply, it is our small part of the whole energy that is trying to keep everyone separate and in survival mode. Remember, survival mode also leads to competition mode. So whilst it may seem like simple survival, the same energy quickly links to domination and one-ups-man-ship (competition). This group energy that we tap into, with our individual part in it, is the same energy that causes arguments, disputes and even wars. This is one little personal separation energy that is actually linked to a whole planetary dis-function. Wow, no wonder it leads to ultimately feeling crappy.
The incredible thing is that when this energy fires up, we usually blame the person who is displaying it (throwing it at us) rather than letting the person off the hook and acknowledging it as a bigger issue or sickness that we all have a little investment in. To understand and rise above this energy in the world you need to have compassion for it and the people in it. We are being pushed into this compassion by the very situations and circumstances that are presenting to us in our daily lives. The crappy situations are actually leading us through the pain of separation and all the way back to connection, at a deeper level than before. That is pretty cool to realize, because you can begin to see and know that life is a Bootcamp for the soul. We are learning the best soul based lessons through the very things that challenge us the most.
So, back to that energy and our individual part in it. Can you feel it in you? Can you see it in others? Can you see others fighting for survival or to not feel small or put down? Can you see them or feel that part of yourself fighting for a viewpoint?
Here is the moral of today’s story. When we first have that feeling, in that first instant, that is when we make, or take-on, the unconscious decision to no longer let anyone else help us, to become a separate, even determined, individual, that will never be put down again. We feel separate and we begin to act separate. The energy has got us and we believe it, completely backed up and supported by the pain that went with the original issue. At this point we are powerless and any attempt to get our power back, will now be through powerless and fruitless pursuits and arguments. We begin to act even more separate and firmly believe and are convinced that is what we need to do.
That is the birth of what we call the ego. That is the birth of our feeling individual or separate. That is the birth of the illusion that we are still needing to break. That is what leads us to more of the same, more pain, more let downs and more decisions to no longer trust or do it on our own. Unfortunately, that is where a lot of our relationships start, from that pain and the ego (the piece of unconscious mind that no longer wants the pain and promises to fix it). We find “the one”, that hopefully won’t do any of the horrible things that the past painful people in our life did.
Because we enter in these relationships without releasing that pain and ego, we have no choice but to continue to eventually attract the same pain and situations back into our life. Our original underground upset continues to draw in more of the same. The law of attraction does it’s job here wonderfully and unless we release that original issue, all of our efforts, goals and actions lead to more of the same original pain and short-falls. At this point a simple realisation and change of mind would be far more powerful than a 10 year committed plan.
These old unconscious, unreleased issues will either magically transform our partners (the one) into our worst nightmare or if they are strong enough and not prone to being sucked in, it will manifest in a business or family member or someone else. One way or another life will continue to give us the opportunity to see and release the original issue and break the illusion of separation and return us to a state of love, compassion and connectedness. This can be done kicking and screaming or with welcome arms, the arm of pain needed to get this lesson is up to each individual and their willingness and readiness to let go and reconnect.
Basically, our challenge and opportunity is to go back to the original impulse to be separate (and keep people at a distance) and release it. That changes everything, not just for you and the people around you but ultimately for the world.
So, every step you can, consciously let people back in, let life back in, drop the judgments, explore the anger and walls that you put up and release yourself from the same prison that we have all been stuck in for eons. It is an illusion that we are separate and there is a deep unconscious and false desire to keep it that way.
If you are having trouble letting people in, begin by letting life in, let nature in, the rest will follow. Just breathe and realize it is not all that significant, your lessons will patiently line up and wait for you to realize and release them. You will only ultimately see more magic and more possibility if you do begin to let go of the struggle and the need to change everything and others.
When you let go of this struggle, your own beautiful essence will be able to bubble up to the surface and you will know at a feeling level what “spirituality” is. It is just a term used to describe the real you, spiritual and beautiful. You are amazing and you were meant to share life and your incredible essence with everyone, we all need it after all.
Remember, bring it into now and never underestimate the power of who you are.
For more infomation on Trevor Hendy’s Bottcamp For the Soul, click HERE